Window Pains

     I hate driving my husband's truck. For one thing, it's gigantic. I have to lace up my hiking boots just to climb into the seat. And parking? What a joke. I can't help but take up four spaces because I cannot get that thing into one spot. I'm that person backing up and straightening out one hundred times only to get it down to two spaces. The main problem is I have no control over machinery that big. It feels more like the truck is driving me. It's large and in charge. But my absolute least favorite part of driving my husband's truck is the window. The window can roll down at the touch of the button, but the window will not roll back up with the touch of that same button. This has been a thing for a while now and my husband has become accustomed to never rolling it down. Anytime he goes in a drive thru, he leaves enough space to open the door and order. I, however, have not grown accustomed to this ridiculousness. So every time I drive the truck (which I rarely do because, well, I like to feel safe) I forget about this special "feature."  

    The first time it was just an accident, ya know? Like it wasn't even on my radar so going through the Starbucks drive thru, I rolled it down when I went to order. After ordering I pulled forward and pressed the button to roll it back up. And that's when I remembered, Oh yeah. It doesn't work. Now, Jonathan said he has had to fix it before and what he does is press the button over and over a minimum of 1,000 times and eventually the button will in fact send the window back up. So the rest of my time waiting for the drink, I click click click click click click click that button. Get my drink. Click click click click. Window still down. I give up. When I got home I told Jonathan I accidentally rolled the window down and tried to fix it but couldn't, and then went on a rant about how ridiculous the whole thing is. He then went outside and got the window back up by pressing the button enough times or fast enough or slow enough or whatever his trick is.

    The next time was when I was going to a midwife appointment. I don't even know why I had his truck  but I guess we traded since I was going without any kids. Now you have to get a ticket to get into the parking lot at the hospital. To get said ticket you have to open your window, so I did, and I grabbed the ticket and went to roll the window up. And that's when I remembered I needed to open the door not the window. Click click click click click. I drove to my parking spot and was a little early so I sat there, clicking fast, clicking slow, clicking til my finger got sore. Window would not budge. I left the window opened and went into my appointment. Thankfully no one broke into the truck. I drove home, returned Jonathan his truck, window opened. He was able to fix it because his truck knows its master.

    I wish I could say that was the last time, but I was leaving one day for some alone time and he needed to have my car with all the carseats so he tossed me the truck keys. I looked at him and said, "Babe, I can never remember not to open your window. Can you put caution tape over the buttons or something?" He was like, "You know not to roll it down now. Just open the door when you order." So as I leave the house I literally tell myself, Do not roll the window down. Then I start thinking about what I want to do with my time alone. I pray and talk to God and process different things happening in my life. I turn a podcast on. I pull into Starbucks. Lucky me, no line! I stop to order and I roll the window down. And immediately, I am in disbelief. HOW COULD I FORGET? 

    A couple months ago a friend and I were leaving my house super early for our half marathon race. We got everything ready to go, grabbed a banana for the road, and hopped into the truck since Jonathan was bringing the kids to cheer me on later in my car. We were three minutes down the road hopping on the highway and I'm finishing my last bite of banana. Now, I'm not one to leave trash in my husband's truck- I know better than that. And a banana peel is bio-degradable so naturally I throw it out the window. CRAP! The window is open. I can't close the window. "NO! NO! NO!" I shout. My friend jumps, "WHAT?!? What did we forget?"  And I explain the pain that is my husband's truck window. And she laughs. And I kind of laugh, kind of cry. This time is especially annoying because the truck is loud even with the window closed, but the window open, on the highway, it was like having the TV blaring static on full volume. We didn't talk much the rest of the drive, couldn't hear each other.

    Jonathan still hasn't put tape over the button so I guess we just have this little bit going now. I avoid driving the truck. Sometimes I must drive the truck. When I drive the truck, for one reason or another I cannot avoid rolling the window down. When I roll the window down, I can't fix it. Jonathan fixes it. I avoid driving the truck. And the cycle continues. Except for today. Today I was leaving to grab a coffee and have time to myself with a few books. And of course, Jonathan needed the van so I got the joy of being driven by the truck. Before leaving I warned him, "You know I can't remember to not press the window down. YOU KNOW. I'm warning you. You still want me to take it?" "Babe. I believe in you. Just remember." He walks me to the truck and I get in. As soon as I am inside he motions for me to roll the window down. I almost did it, but before I could he already had his thumbs up like, "See! You didn't roll it down." Phew. That was close. I did a mobile order for my coffee and decided I better go inside to pick it up- I knew I couldn't be trusted in a drive thru line. Also, I found a sticky note in the truck so I went ahead and covered the buttons. Unfortunately, it wasn't sticky anymore so it kept falling off but I kept laying it over just as a visual. Got my coffee. Success. Then I had my time reading at the church and drove home. And for the first time, I returned the truck with the window up. This is a big deal. I conquered. I would like to thank my parents for life, my kids for giving me "mom brain", and Jonathan for giving me too many second chances and believing in me when I didn't believe in myself. The window is up. And hopefully I won't have to drive the truck again anytime soon- wouldn't want to ruin my streak! 

Making it Matter,

Laura Jones

Family Retreat

 

      Jonathan and I have four kids ages 6, 4, 2, and 4 months that I get the privilege to stay home with. My life is crazy staying home and it is really crazy going out. I took all four out by myself yesterday to run some errands. First stop was TJ Maxx. We were going so our newly six year old could spend his birthday money from great grandma K and get a toy he’d eyed there previously. It takes years to get everyone out of the car and to safely navigate the parking lot. We finally get in and make our way to the toy wall. The kids were perusing every toy on every shelf oohing and ahhing until I finally wrangle them to the checkout, which is when I realize that I left my wallet at home on the counter. *cue internal meltdown. Meanwhile my two girls are up to no good messing with the candy shelves and I am explaining to my son what it means to have them “hold” the toy for us. So we go back to the car, which sounds simple but it takes forever because I have to peel the girls off of those shelves without completely losing my cool. Turns out “girls, come with mommy, it’s time to go” elicits no response in public. We go back home, I run in to get my wallet and we go back to TJ Maxx and repeat the whole unloading, checking out, prying off the shelves to leave. And this is only our first place we need to go. By this time I’ve cut two other stops off the list because I’m already worn out, but we really need to go to the grocery store. Praise for Aldi having two seats in their carts because I was able to put my double-trouble too-cute-for-words girls in there and then my 6 year old pushed the baby in the stroller. Our trip was fairly short and fairly smooth until it was time to leave. Apparently one of my angel girlies liked the cart a little too much and did not want to leave. I lift her out while she cries, set her down and she lays herself on the concrete by the cart. I start to walk away in hopes she’ll follow and to not respond much to the full forced fit my two year old is throwing, but unfortunately other people are trying to put their carts away and my little pumpkin pie is sprawled out in their way. So I get her and we finally make it to the car. I’m frustrated. Literally out loud “God, please help me. Give me your patience.” And we make a bee line straight home. This was just one hour of my day.

     And here is what I realized- we’ve got some work to do and areas to grow in. The time to train my babes in how to listen, how to leave, and how to obey is not in public. We have to practice and learn these things in private so that in public we’ve all mastered the basics and can go out smoothly. And this is true for a lot of life. The time to learn the Bible isn’t when you’re preaching. The time to learn to shoot the ball isn’t during the game. Most skills take time and training and practice in private before putting them in action in public. And parenting kids is no different. The time to teach your kids to obey when you say “come here!” is not when they’re running in the street with a car coming. It takes hours and hours of daily consistency with love and patience to teach kids the things they need to know in how to relate to the world around them and how to obey the people who want to protect them most. 

       This week we are going on Team Jones Family Retreat! We are taking our kids to stay in a cabin where you can see the stars at night. Each day we will have a training hour, where we will role play, do relays, and practice different areas we need to work on as a family. Like getting ready to leave the house and sitting in our seats promptly. Or using yes ma’am and no sirs. Or staying seated at the table during family dinner. Or learning how to welcome others into our home and host them well. We have lots of fun treats and whistles and stop watches to make it quite the event each day and I am excited to see our kids learn as we take the time to teach them. We’re going to make a family flag and have family devotions planned each morning as well as jobs for each kiddo to help prepare breakfast. Micaiah is a fantastic bacon maker and Essie girl can make a mean toasty toast. Lauralai can set the table and make sure everyone has silverware, plates, and napkins. And Corban can be cute! We’re a family team and everyone has a gift to contribute. Jonathan and I are growing as their coaches, not just looking to encourage skilled players, but players with heart. Grateful we have the ultimate Playbook that teaches, rebukes, corrects, and trains in righteousness. Pray for our time this week that our family would make memories and grow to be a brighter city on a hill! 

Making it Matter,

Laura Jones

Fried Plantains

     When we lived in Fort Worth, one of my very dearest friends was our neighbor across the street. Her name is Norma. There is really no reason we should have become such close friends. What I mean is we have nearly nothing in common on the surface. Norma is an 80 year old great grandma from Puerto Rico whose primary language is Spanish and she can barely use her iPhone. And yet, it was God's kindness that placed our family in the house across the street from her and her husband, Marino. She is one of the sweetest, most hospitable people I have ever met and I have learned so much from her. When we moved away and had to say goodbye, we both cried because of the unlikely friendship we'd forged over the two years we lived in that house. 

    Here are 5 things I learned about hospitality from Norma that will forever stick with me: 

1. Welcome people in. The first time I knocked on Norma's door she said, "honey, come in, come in." And so began our friendship. She was usually cleaning and cooking but always welcomed me and Micaiah (and then me and Micaiah and Esther) in to "sit down, sit down honey." She was often up and moving, but not in a "too busy for you" kind of way. I told her she worked way too hard and needed to take a break to which she replied, "at our age if you stop moving and sit around, you die." I took her to heart on that because she's one sharp feisty woman and never sat down more than a minute of her life I'm sure. She always loved conversation and seemed delighted by the kids and by me being there with her. She looked at my kids like they were her own great grandkids and we called her their abuela because of it. I am grateful for that first time of her welcoming us in. It kept me knocking on her door.

2. Give food. I also quickly learned not to go to Norma's after eating, because she wouldn't let you say no to food. Once you knocked, you were invited in, and once you were in, somehow there was a hot plate of beans, rice, and chicken sitting before you even though you'd politely just declined. I stopped declining because it didn't matter to Norma anyways. Plus her food was incredible. The first time she made me her fried plantains, I could have eaten them all. And she'd have let me. After bringing up how much I liked them so often, she finally taught me how to make them but mine certainly weren't as good. She also always had cookies for the kids, which were really crackers. They loved being at her house because she always offered them (read:forced them to have) juice and crackers and they certainly didn't mind that.

 3. Be available. This is the main reason Norma and I became friends. She was available. As a stay at home Mom with two littles at the time, I wasn't going too many places. Just me and the babies at home often, and Norma was always home too. We were the friends each other needed. I loved asking Norma questions about her family and learning from her life experiences. And she enjoyed sharing them with me. Never were we made to feel like an interruption or an inconvenience to her day; actually she made us feel like quite the opposite. She delighted in us, like she was hoping we'd stop by that day. 

4. Be present. Norma was never scrolling on her phone or texting...perhaps mostly because she didn't know how to. I loved when she asked me questions about her phone, like how to make it ring because it was on silent. Or how to find a picture someone had sent her. But truly. She was just there, present, engaged in the conversation. She was quick to hold a baby or help the toddler with something. Being present is a lost art, but Norma's got it down and I love hanging around her because of it. She treats you like you're the only one that matters in the moment.

5. Cross the street. Norma would knock on our door too. I'll never forget the times she knocked with a hot container of food she'd just prepared. She knew how much I loved her fried plantains and brought many  dishes over! She also would come over while the kids napped sometimes so I could run to the store. If she didn't see us for a couple days she'd come by to make sure everything was okay.  

    This past weekend we were in Fort Worth for a birthday party and I told Jonathan I'd like to go by Norma & Marino's house while we were in town. I called Norma a couple times in the morning but it went straight to voicemail...she probably just forgot where the power button was or something. But after the party, we just stopped by. Haven't seen them since before having Corban. Gave no advanced warning we'd be coming. We walk up to the door, knock, and it's not long before I hear, "Come in, come in, honey."  Within minutes we were sitting at their table being "offered" hot food and the kids already each had their juice. It was like she knew we were coming. Always ready to welcome us in. Jonathan handed her Corban and she just adored him saying, "Oh God bless you. God bless you, baby." She's gotten to hold 3 of our 4 newborns and has always spoken that over them. I hope to be more like Norma. To love and serve people the way she does. To be interruptible and delighted by the "interruption." To be present and enjoy simple conversation. Knowing Norma has made me better and her friendship has marked me for life.

Making it Matter,

Laura Jones

Mic(aiah) Drop

     I enjoy listening to podcasts. Typically I'll put one on for a little extra motivation to knock out the dishes or fold the mountain of laundry. On this particular day, I was listening to a Christian parenting podcast while driving my kiddos around. Micaiah, my five year old, was talking to me, as he usually does. I had put on the radio for them but he just wanted to chat. I was half listening and responding to him, half trying to listen to my podcast. I took an airpod out so I could hear him better and he, now realizing why I wasn't responding sooner to him, immediately said, "Why do you have those in? Are you listening to a podcast?" I said I was, and he quickly asked why I was listening to a podcast. I was slightly taken aback and said, almost defensively, "I am listening to a podcast teaching me how to be a better Mom!" He responded, "Wait. You have your headphones in and have to ignore your children to learn to be a better mom? How does that make sense?" Yes, my five year old said those words. I literally had no response, just started slowly removing the other airpod as the proverbial mic loudly dropped. Then after admiring the wisdom and clarity of thought my five year old just spoke, I smiled and said, "You're right, that doesn't make sense. Let's talk!"     

    I have thought about this moment so many times. Here I was, doing something good, something beneficial even. But it was at the expense of what was best. A good thing can be a bad thing if it's not the best thing in the moment. Being present goes a greater distance in Motherhood than anything else. It was  ironic, here I was striving to be a better mom in the future by being a worse mom in the moment. I am grateful for Micaiah calling me out because the way to be the best mom to my kids is to be a present mom with my kids. Presence over progress because in being present, progress is made. There's little I care more about than being the best mom I can be to Micaiah, Esther, Lauralai and Corban. They deserve the best. Each of their hearts full of curiosity and words, just wanting to talk and process through all they are seeing and learning. I love that I get to be that person for them every day. All day. May we always choose what is best over what is good. And save the podcasts for the daily sink sesh!

Making it Matter,

Laura Jones

Are We Done Yet?

    

    In the first week of Corban's life, I was asked the question a total of 10 times if we were done having babies. From nurses to strangers to friends to pediatricians, this question was top on the list. And while I think it's rooted in curiosity with no bad intention, it typically seems to come with an insinuation of, "You're done, right?" 

    It's funny because whenever we got married the question was, "Do y'all want to have kids?" Then after having our first son it was, "When are you going to have another?" Because if you have one, you might as well have two and if you have a boy, you'd surely like a girl. After baby number two, we got, "A boy and a girl, how perfect." Then we crashed that "perfect" picture with another baby. After three, the question came, "Do y'all want to have anymore?" But with four, after FOUR children, it's, "Are you done?!" This progression reflects how people think and is largely shaped by what's culturally expected. Most surely want to have one child, likely two so there is a sibling. Three is possibly manageable, but four is A LOT and must mean you're done. But being done implies that something has been started. Most people it seems, get married & hold off on being open to having a baby (through birth control or other means of prevention). Then when they decide they want to have a baby, they start trying, meaning they stop preventing. We never started trying to have babies. We simply got married and participated in God's good design of marriage.

    God, in His sovereignty has given Jonathan and me a gift that He, also in His sovereignty, could take away. He has given us the good gift of being able to conceive, carry, birth, and raise children. This is a gift I am humbled to receive, knowing there's nothing I have done to earn it or be worthy of it. I know too many who do not have this gift and it breaks my heart. The gift of fertility is not lost on me. And because I know it is a gift from God, my goal in stewarding the gift is to give it back to Him. To submit it to Him and say, "God, this is Yours. Use it how you will. Not my will, but yours be done." 

    Most questions that come in regards to building a family are rooted in wants. Literally in MY will. "Do you WANT kids?" "How many do YOU want?" "When do YOU want to have them?" "Do you WANT more?" As a follower of Jesus, the call is to not make decisions based on what we want, but consider and seek what He wants, knowing that our flourishing will follow our submission to Him. This is a counter-cultural concept, but obedience to God is where life to the full is found. Culture today says our wants, our feelings, our desires are to be esteemed above all else. What you want is your right to have. But wisdom of the world is foolishness to God. We are called to not conform to the world, but be transformed so that we can know what God wants. And what better way to know what God wants than to fully surrender everything to Him? 

    So to answer the question, "Are you done?" No, we are not done trusting God with our fertility. I am not so prideful as to think that God would continue gifting us with these eternal hearts made in His image. We are not trying to have as many kids as we can, but neither are we trying to deny God's gifts. We will continue to live open handed with our fertility, knowing God opens wombs and closes them. That may mean we only have these four children and to God be the glory for them, may we steward their hearts well. Or that may mean we have eleven children, in which case to God be the glory, may we steward their hearts well. We know that God is good and are actively choosing to trust Him to determine the number of kids we should have. What I want can be left out of it although so far I have four and I surely want them all!      

Making it Matter, 

Laura Jones

Idolagram

    Getting Instagram and Facebook out of my life for an entire year was one of the best decisions and I 100% recommend it to everyone. I know, I know, it's where I kept up with distant friends too. Yes, I totally missed out on wedding pictures and baby announcements and engagements. Yes, I also had to let go of the business I was running on it. I missed out on following good, Christian influencers and being encouraged by their pages. I didn’t see any birthday posts on my birthday. No one saw my kids' cuteness all year unless we were together. I didn't do a fourth baby pregnancy announcement. No one knew how God was teaching me and changing me. My circle of influence shrunk. I wasn't as seen. No one sent me likes. And it was so good and healthy and worth it and I think you should do it too!

    The excuses and reasons not to get off social media are SO REAL. And honestly it is beyond easy to talk yourself out of it. I know because I had contemplated it for far too long prior to last year, each time stacking up my pro-con list and weighing the cons a little heavier. Until I finally acknowledged how much it negatively impacted my time and connection with God- which really has more weight than anything on the list. I think it nearly impossible to "mind your own business and lead a quiet life" while simultaneously desiring to be seen and heard and liked by as many as possible. Until it was stripped away, I really had no idea how much of a hold these platforms had on my life or in the way I used it to find additional value and significance. When I deleted the apps and committed not to log in for the year, I thought it mostly a calling by God because of the amount of time I wasted on it and how it interfered with my relationship with Him and being present. And it was those things. But God showed me so much more than just that. 

    I thought being off insta would make me feel more lonely, less seen by others. I thought it would be kind of sad to not have people see the ways my kids were growing and the hilarious things they would do. I thought stuff we did or places we went might not matter as much. I dreaded being out of the know on everything going on in people's lives. I thought I would feel less significant. None of these things happened. My confidence, contentment, quality of relationships, presence, closeness with God, were all only strengthened last year. I dressed my kids in cute outfits or did fun crafts or went on fun adventures and no one knew about it and it in no way took away from what we did or how much fun we had doing it. I saw the superficiality of so much of what I thought was a gain through being on social media. The unlasting satisfaction of it all. 

    I also realized our (humans') obsession with being in the know of everyone's lives. We want to know. If there's drama or a breakup, we want to know. If there's a new baby or an engagement, even if we literally haven't spoken to this person in 10 years, we want to know. The people we admired in junior high, we want to see what their lives have become. The people we once disliked or judged, we want to see them now. We are obsessed with knowing. But knowing in a sense of just seeing, getting a glimpse via a photo or post. Not in seeking to know who they are. Not with the goal of meeting together and exchanging stories and building a real-ationship. Just in the picture stalking kinda knowing. I realized last year how little I really need to see into anyone's lives who I don't personally know. Because those I know, I saw, I met with, I talked to. I didn't need to see their latest announcement or pictures because I was living it with them. Or on the phone regularly if they were far. And my relationships were deepened and strengthened and more fulfilling because of it. I even connected with old friends in more personal ways that I wouldn't have otherwise. I was motivated to keep up with people personally not in a mass post hit-a-like-form. Most of the knowing on social media is superficial, but boy do we like it. And we like being "known" that way too. It's simple, non-committal, controllable, and gives a temporary feeling of being seen. Which is kind of like being known, but way less how God intended. 

    As I learn and see so much differently now, I have yet to log back into my instagram even though my "fast" ended 4 months ago. I have been praying through whether I will engage it again or just take what I want off it and delete it. For now, I am just staying off it, because even with all I have seen and learned, I know how quickly I can become addicted or find worth in it again. I think that is what it was designed to do, or at the very least how the enemy wants to use it. And I just don't want to give in. I keep thinking that it is a morally neutral tool though and that it can be used for good. And that people do use it for good. But for morally neutral, it is a battleground of temptation. Invitations to compare, judge, envy, think more highly of yourself, think less of yourself, seek comfort, waste time, and find identity. In the years of engaging, I cannot say using it has been a tool that led to more holiness or flourishing in my life personally, and in the last year I saw how letting it go did that. I am not confident I can successfully enter the battleground without continually falling prey. So I am continuing to seek God on it. Because there are also a lot of reasons it makes sense this day and age to have it. But at what expense? The idols of our day are unlikely to be golden calves or little statues, but we must be alert to the idols that beckon for our attention, devotion, and satisfaction. They are not worthy; only the true Eternal God is. 

    "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your mind and all your soul."

Making it Matter,

Laura Jones

Who Am I?

    I watched a video where a kid asked Kamala Harris, the current Vice President of the United States, the best advice her parents had ever given her. This was her response: "One of the most important pieces of advice that I can offer you guys, and I want you to really remember this: Never let anybody tell you who you are. You tell them who you are. Never let anybody suggest to you that you are what they think you should be. You tell them who you are and who you know you are and who you intend to be. You got that?"

    Thankfully my kids didn't hear that advice because this is 100% the opposite of everything I want to do as a parent. Left to ourselves, we do not know who we are. The purpose of a created thing is found in the one who created it. Imagine having no knowledge of what an iPhone is for and using it as a coaster on the coffee table. I mean sure, it could be used a coaster, albeit an expensive one, but that’s really missing out on the fullness of its capabilities or designated purpose. A kid needs to be told who they are, whose they are, and why they are. These are the questions God answers in His Word. I will never stop telling my kids that they are image bearers of their Creator. That they were created by God on purpose and for a purpose. That they are boys (for my sons) and girls (for my daughters) by design and that is good. I will tell them that they are sons and daughters of Jonathan Jones who is the son of Larry Jones (who is the son of Ken and Billie Jones) and Judy Jones (who is the daughter of Don and Janelle Kavanaugh). And that they are sons and daughters of Laura Jones who is the daughter of Mark Hemingway (son of Jess and Grace Hemingway) and Paula Hemingway (daughter of Paul and Carolyn Mott) and so forth. As children they will be given a secured identity not made up through looking within, soul searching or trial and error, but because they will be told exactly who they are in the context of who came generations before them as well as in the context of God's great big story that they get to play a part in simply by being His creation. 

    The message of "you do you" is rampant in today's culture, encouraging people to decide who they want to be and then told to let no one stand in their way. While this has been a message for a while now aimed at adults, it is increasingly taking ground towards children. “You don’t need parents- you do you. Don’t let your parents hinder you.” This has now led to the drastic degree of “if who you are is a boy, but you want to be a girl, you can and should be a girl.” The intentional push for confusion on kids today is evil and inevitably leads to devastating consequences as well as instability and insecurity. If who we are is based on how we feel, then we will truly never find ourselves because feelings shift on the daily. If who we are is based on the opinions of others, then our identity will ebb and flow rising and falling in confidence. If who we are is based on what we accomplish or on our career, then it is contingent on how we perform, again unsteady. The concept of "finding yourself", outside of God's Word or design, leads to lifelong identity crises and insecurity. A secure identity is rooted in that which is unchanging. Or rather, Who is unchanging. When your identity is rooted in Christ, you are secure, not because of who YOU are, but because of who HE is in you. 

    As our culture steps further away from a fear of God, there is only increasing confusion on identity, and it is my life's work and passion to give my kids a foundation that provides confidence and security in their God given identity. I want my kids to celebrate all that it means to be created a boy or a girl and to walk proudly in that. I want my kids to increase in their confidence that every detail of how they were designed, from physical appearance to personality to giftings was purposefully crafted by God for them to use to glorify Him and serve others in a unique way. This is where people thrive. This is the foundation that builds into living out exactly who we were meant to be. To tell kids to just figure it out- from their gender to their attraction to their purpose in life- by considering how they feel, looking within, and then deciding all they want to be is a foundation for endless searching and confusion that leads to an adulthood of the same. This is why God gave kiddos parents. To help them navigate and discover and celebrate all God made them to be in a way that leads to healthy flourishing as they grow. “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10 “For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14

    Micaiah, Essie, Gracie, and Corby, God created every detail of you who are on purpose. He knit you together in my womb and then carefully delivered you into this world at just the right time. He has made you fearfully and wonderfully and He is worthy of all your praise. Each of you are God’s workmanship. You were created in Christ to do good works that God has specifically prepared for each of you. It is my greatest privilege as your Mommy to call out all I see God crafting in you and to celebrate exactly who He has made you to be as His sons and daughters. All you may seek in life is found fully in Him.

 

Making it Matter,

Laura Jones  

Halley Raye

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

    I don’t remember a time when I didn’t believe in God. I am grateful to have grown up in a home that was a foretaste of heaven. The kind of home that is safe and filled with love. The kind of home that made me think it reasonable to believe there was a good Father in heaven who gives good gifts. I could see His love and experienced His good gifts in a tangible way at home through my family. My mom taught me about Jesus and showed me who He was by the way she cared for me. She was present and comforting, tucking me in to bed each night, telling me stories, and always being available. Yes, it was natural to believe in a good God who gives good gifts.

    I am the youngest of 6 in my family and having my 5 siblings has always been one of my favorite of God’s good gifts. I have always deeply cared for my siblings and most of my childhood journals are filled with prayers for each of them. My oldest sister, Marla was 15 when I was born and started dating her now-husband, Nate when I was just 1. I really don’t know life without them together. When I was 10, I opened up a really good gift from them, which actually just represented another really good gift from my good God. I opened a blush pink shirt that had white letters ironed on spelling out in all caps, “AUNT LAURA.” When I opened it, I screamed. Loudly. I was so unbelievably excited. I have always been a baby person but as the youngest, I never got to have a little sibling. I was left only to care for my baby dolls, which I had many of and cared for quite well I must say. But this was a BIG deal to me. A new title: “Aunt Laura”. I just loved the sound of it and was so proud. After all, none of my friends were Aunts so I felt especially honored. When I found out they were having a baby girl, all my dreams really came alive. In my mind, I basically was going to be this girl’s second mom and change all the diapers and hold her all the time and pick out all her outfits. This was going to be so much better than a baby doll. My excitement overflowed.

    My niece, Halley Raye was born via c-section Jan 27, 2004 and immediately taken to NICU because of difficulty breathing. My 10 year old brain had limited understanding to any of the details going on, but all I knew was that she was sick and that we needed to pray for her. My parents had many family meetings with us where we spent time praying and reading Scriptures that gave hope and comfort. I knew Halley was sick and I knew God was going to heal her. I had no doubt. My faith in my good God who gives good gifts assured me that Halley would be okay. I put all my trust in that.

    We got to go see Halley in the NICU. She was hooked up to a breathing machine and had a feeding tube going up her nose, but I got to hold her. I proudly wore my “AUNT LAURA” shirt and held that baby girl’s warm body against it, taking in every detail about her. She had the most distinct smell, that fresh baby girl scent. I prayed over her in my arms. I teared up holding her, realizing that in just the short time since she’d been born, she had been through more pain and medical care than I had my whole ten years. I loved holding her. I loved being her Aunt Laura. And I just knew God was going to heal her body.

    Halley died at 55 days old. I was devastated and everything I had believed about God was shattered. Wasn’t He good? How could He not heal her? He could have, but didn’t- how can He be good? My ten year old faith was suddenly put to the test in a way I couldn’t have imagined. God’s goodness seemed but a hopeful disappointment and I could not quite reconcile His so called goodness with what just happened. Going to the funeral and knowing her lifeless tiny body lay in the casket. Caskets that size shouldn't exist. Watching them lower it into the ground. My niece. I had no prior category for these feelings or this pain.

    I cannot emphasize enough how much the faith of my sister and my parents influenced my own faith in this season. To see my sister and brother in law bury their dead baby girl beneath the ground, and yet proclaim God’s goodness had such a profound impact on my watching heart. To observe my parents weep at the loss of their first grand baby, but cling to the truths of God’s Word in a way that made it seem alive and comforting and real profoundly shaped my faith. While I wrestled personally with God and His sovereignty over Halley’s death, I was led through it by the faith and strength of those I looked up to most. I saw God’s goodness and I felt His closeness, despite the horror of death and in the midst of the pain. It was then that I began to learn that God’s goodness was on display not in the causing of pain, but in enduring the pain with us.

    Halley would have been 18 years old this week. My faith has forever been marked by her life. She has shaped my resolve in His goodness and trustworthiness, not because of the external good gifts in a circumstantial sense, but because of the good gift of His presence in any and every circumstance. I yearn for heaven a little more because of her being there and am excited for the day I will see her fully healed. God did answer my faith-filled prayers to heal her, not in the way I expected, but in a much more significant, lasting way. He truly is a good God who gives good gifts, and being Halley’s “Aunt Laura” for 55 days was just that. Happy Birthday, Halley Girl.

"Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him." Job 13:15

Making it Matter, 

Laura Jones

Shabbat Shalom

      For eight months now the Jones family has been observing Shabbat (the Hebrew word for Sabbath, meaning rest) each week and it has been the second most life-changing, fruit-producing choice of 2021 (the first being abstaining from our social media accounts.) I have done a deep dive into the God ordained gift of Sabbath, which first makes its appearance in Genesis 2. God works for six days and rests on the seventh from all his work, then blesses that day and makes it holy because He rested. I am a big advocate for seeking lifestyle from Genesis because it is a display of God's original design and intent for His creation & creatures. Often in our home when we process through different decisions from family planning to relationships to work to stewardship to identity, we start with the question, "Well, how did God intend this to be?" Of course we live in a world that doesn't reflect how God intended things to be but as we pray, "In our home as it is in heaven," we try to seek out God's design. 

    So the start of Sabbath was just God himself resting from work. Now, we all know God is limitless and does not grow tired or weary, so why rest? He did so as a pattern to set for us- work six days then rest. We next see Sabbath as one of the ten commandments in Exodus, proving that this was not a chill idea, but a God given command. A must. Non negotiable. Right up there with don't murder. There were lots of festivals throughout the year God commanded the Israelites to celebrate, but this one was weekly. Sabbath was one of the primary forms of discipleship within Israelite families to preserve the Truth of their history and the God that led them through it. God literally sets this command to remind them of who He is and what He has done for them (leading them out of slavery in Egypt.) He knows we are prone to forget His faithfulness. Also, to observe Sabbath was a statement of faith because these people had to work the land to have the food and provide all the things, so even taking one day to not do anything but rest was an acknowledgment of God as provider and that their trust was in Him, not in their own work. Also, let me just say, I am amazed that our God is a God who gives the gift of rest. What other God is like that?  Hint: none.   

    Now Sabbath is all throughout the Old Testament and there is so much more than my short overview, but what about in the New Testament? In the sermon on the mount, Jesus states this: "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them, but to fulfill them. I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least the stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Therefore anyone who sets aside on of the least of these commands and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven." Matt 5:17-19 So in general, Jesus makes clear the Law is not cancelled by Him, it is however fulfilled in Him. But we are still told to practice and teach these commands. (Side note: Jesus was a Sabbath-keeper.)

     Now that said, Jesus actually speaks directly about the Sabbath because the religious folk of the day, who were all in with following the Law in actions, but all out on having hearts fully devoted to God, needed some correction. The teachers of the Law were constantly trying to trap Jesus- they did not believe He was the Son of God and were determined to prove Him a blasphemer. In Mark 2, they called Him out for eating from grain fields with His disciples on Shabbat, what the Pharisees said was unlawful. And how Jesus responds to them is this: "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath..." (Read the full story in Mark 2.) The Sabbath was meant to be a gift FOR man, not man to be burdened by the Sabbath. The pharisees were constantly building laws around the laws to ensure the laws were kept and holding to standards beyond what God required. Talk about burdensome.

    Now, lest you think I am now advocating for legalistic Law following, let me share Colossians 2, where Paul says that in light of Jesus paying for our lawlessness on the cross, "Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day. These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality however is found in Christ." How is the reality of Sabbath found in Christ? That is precisely what we spend each Shabbat unpacking. We started observing Shabbat not out of a burden that we must, but rather out of a desire to receive the gift and follow the pattern God laid out for us in Genesis 2. We spend a 24 hour period every week remembering that we were once slaves to sin, but set free because of the blood the The Lamb, and can rest in the Truth that "It. Is. Finished." We, like the Israelites are prone to forget who our God is and what our God has done. We get caught up in the doing and the working and providing that we forget God is the One who truly provides and sustains. Jesus is the fulfillment because it is only through the work of Christ that we can truly rest. We can stop the striving and the working because of what He has done. I cannot advocate for Sabbath enough. In the chaos and busyness of our lives in culture today, it is GOOD and healthy and fruitful and a God-given gift to rest and remember. 

    So, just to give an idea of what it looks like in our home, we start Shabbat every Thursday evening at dinnertime. Our kids ask multiple times a week if it's Shabbat yet, they literally treat it like Christmas and we try to make it as fun, celebratory, gospel centered, and restful as possible....ya know with 3 kids under 6. We turn off our phones the entire 24 hours- probs the best part. At 6:30ish we light candles, sing a song, and often I will read from Deuteronomy and share how God commanded the Israelites to observe Sabbath: "Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and that the Lord your God brought you out of there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm. Therefore, the Lord your God has commanded you to observe the Sabbath day." Then I say to the kids, "We were not slaves in Egypt but we were slaves to what?" and they yell "SIN!" at an ungodly volume. Then we read from Romans 6, "But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin...you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness." I love the imagery in that Deuteronomy passage that says God brought them out with a "mighty hand and an outstretched arm", because Jesus on the cross with outstretched arms is what rescued us from our slavery too.

    Next, we all say Psalm 23 which the kids also yell and have completely memorized because we've been doing this 8 months. Jonathan then blesses each of our kids and me and then we eat. We eat good food. A feast. Typically made in foil tins that we eat on paper plates so there are no dishes to do after, because nothing feels more like work to me than a motherload of dishes. We let the kids have chocolate milk after dinner and have an extended bedtime routine, basically we read them a million books and sing a billion songs. Then J and I will hang out on the couch and talk or we'll sit at the table and play a game together. One night we even just read. Because no phones always means more reading. 

    Fridays we sleep in as much as the kids will let us and then we walk to our local breakfast treat spot. Cinnamon rolls for the win! As we indulge in this sugary breakfast we say, "Taste and see that the Lord is good!" Typically Jonathan will send me out of the house for a couple hours and I will have some time alone with God at our coffee shop. Our Fridays are not super structured, we just try to be outside and do a lot of family things. We then close out Shabbat in the evening by praying together and writing down things we are thankful for from the previous week. I love hearing what the kids are thankful for, although sometimes it is the silliest things, but tis the silly season of littles. Shabbat has been a highlight of our week, a faith growing experience individually, and has quickly become one of the pinnacles of our family culture. We have also gotten to incorporate both Jonathan's parents and grandma and my parents into our Shabbats and hope to do that monthly. We have loved getting intentional time with them after dinner where they share their own stories of God's faithfulness to them, which the kids and us love hearing. 

    Sabbath is meant to be a gift and we have experienced it as such. If you have any specific questions shoot me a text, I love sharing about this! And also a starting place I would recommend is the podcast, "Fight Hustle, End Hurry" by Jefferson Bethke and John Mark Comer. It was absolutely a catalyst for us starting this journey and has so many practical ideas to just start! 

Shabbat Shalom. 

Making it matter, 

Laura Jones

No More Anxious Mama

     This Scripture impacts my motherhood most often. It frees me from fear. It gives me confidence amidst my lack of control. It helps me sleep at night. And it is this: "...all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Ps 139:16 tells me that every single one of my days has already been written. Which means my life will not end a moment before it's meant to. And here is where it really lets me exhale: every single day of each of my kids' lives has already been written. Which means their lives will not end a moment before they are determined to. This gives me incredible relief as a Mom. 

    Moms want to do everything in their control to keep their kids safe, healthy, and thriving. It is instinctual. We want with every fiber of our being to protect our kids. It starts when they're in the womb. We read about all the ways to keep baby safest and healthiest. We take on new diets, cut out different things, exercise more. The instinct starts immediately and only intensifies after birth. Because we feel the weighty responsibility of being the sole provider and sustainer of another human being, it brings out new depths of fear we had never experienced before. Every decision feels monumental.

     Marketing strategists target these fears and many-a product sell if they can tout keeping your little human safer. Maybe you've heard of the Owlet, for example. It is a baby monitor sock your baby wears at night that tracks their oxygen level and heart rate while they sleep and alerts you if something is off. I took this directly off their website: "Parents around the world trust Owlet every night to help them keep their babies safe...Now you can feel more confidence, more freedom, and more peace of mind knowing that Owlet is here to help you keep your baby safe." While I've never owned one, I am not condemning the product itself, but I am asserting that there is a better Place to put your trust if you want "more confidence, more freedom, and more peace of mind" in keeping your baby safe. And it would do parents around the world well to trust Him. Psalm 121 tells me that God will not slumber or sleep, but will constantly watch over His children. 

    Let me encourage you, Mama, that you are not the sole provider and sustainer of your child's life. That should bring great relief because at the end of the day, we are limited. We need sleep. We can not and do not have full control. While God is absolutely employing you to do the best you can to wisely steward and care for the child He has given you, it is ultimately Him who has all power and might and control. In Acts 17 it says, "He himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else...and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands...For in him, we move and live and have our being." Job 12:10 says, "In His hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind." In His hand. He holds our baby's every breath. The whole book of Job, especially chapters 38-41 gives a sobering reminder of how big and mighty God is and how small and weak we are. It is best that our babes are in His hands because He is the true Provider and Sustainer. And also, He is good and loves our sweet dumplins more than we ever could. 

    Sometimes I'm tempted to think I can do a better job than God because I see things happen all around that are not good. We don't understand why He would allow some babies to die before ever taking their first breath. Can we really trust that God? I started asking this question at 11 years old after experiencing a heartbreaking loss of two babies in my family. In another post, I will share more of their story and how their lives and deaths have impacted my trust in God forever, especially since becoming a Mom. If anxiety is robbing you of the joy in Motherhood, I encourage you to cling to these truths:

    1. God has full control and we do not.     
    2. God is good and worthy of our trust.

Will you place your trust in Him today?

Making it matter,

Laura

Screen-Free Parenting

    If I were to let my kids have an hour of screen time per day, I would absolutely do it first thing in the morning, you know a little distraction for them so I can drink a cup of Joy, I mean Joe, and have some time in God's Word. Maybe even time to prepare breakfast for everyone without the whining soundtrack: "I don't want that. I don't like eggs today. Can I have a cookie?" Yes, morning would be ideal. Although, maybe it would be best to do the one hour screen time after breakfast that way I can unload last night's dishwasher run, then wash the breakfast dishes, wipe the table and sweep the floors so that we can be ready for lunch. Yes, that would be better. Although, I do have more energy in the mornings for motherhood tasks, so perhaps the best idea would be to save the one hour screen time for when I am losing momentum and need a little break. Somewhere between the lunch mess and afternoon rest time. Then I could probably even eat my own lunch or get some laundry going. That'd be nice. No wait, I just remembered the witching hour, between waking from nap and Daddy getting home. That's typically the point in the day where we are all on the verge of tears, when we have nothing but ungratefulness and complaining in our hearts. That would definitely be the most strategic time for screens.

     I could easily have the TV on at all times in our home; in fact, I could probably justify it as better for everyone. Something about motherhood and training little hearts exposes so much of the sin in my own. Most days I start out quite positive, His mercies are new every morning...but then upon preparing breakfast and the response being complaints, and then spills happening left and right, and one child nursing while another pees on the floor, and my positive attitude goes right out the window along with my patience and grace. But God. He is with me so near in those moments and I have no option but to get on my knees for help. And He helps me. He meets me there to supply a patience, joy, and grace that I just plum don't have without Him. Using screens makes it too tempting for me to check out of motherhood, to take an easy way out of some of the hard of training little hearts each day. And in doing that, to miss out on a closeness to God. I am confident that an hour a day would quickly evolve into much more. Because it happened last April. I budged on our normal no TV rule and got disney+, because lockdown and corona and staying at home and everyone else had it. What started as "maybe we'll watch an occasional something" quickly became a daily rhythm with a show here and a show there and my kids became crankier and more disrespectful each time we turned it off. We got rid of disney+. 

    Screens simply aren't a tool in the Jones parent tool box. I am big on home rhythms- patterns that reflect what it means to be home. When I think of what I want those patterns to be, I strive to filter our daily decisions to ensure that it feeds into those values. Screen time does not reflect our family values, goals, or the pattern we desire in our home. In general, we do not put the TV (or iPad or phones) on for our kids. It is not woven into the fabric of our home or a part of our schedules. It is not our go-to babysitter or the tool we use to occupy our kids' attention so we can get something done. It is not what we hand our kids on 10 hour road trips nor is it the pacifier we give their tantrums. Our kids very rarely watch TV in our home and that is intentional (now at the grandparents it's a different story and a special perk of going to visit them)! 

        TV is not only not a rhythm in our home for the kids, it is also not a rhythm for me and Jonathan. We do not have a TV in our bedroom & we spend very little of our marriage in front of one. We have found that playing games together or sitting on the couch talking in the evenings cultivates a deeper connectedness than bonding over a show ever has. I think the primary draw with TV for us is that it grants laziness...and in our flesh, we love to be lazy. It is far easier as a couple to sit down after a long day of training kids and working in the office to mindlessly watch a show together. It is so much easier to put the TV on for my kids when they get cranky than it is to work with them on their heart issues and my own, which let's be real is often the bigger problem. Even when it was just the two of us before we had kids, we would eat dinner at the dinner table every night and engage in conversation. We set a pattern at the start of our marriage that has only increased and strengthened with time. The table is our family's gathering place. A few months ago we actually moved our one TV into the garage because we primarily use it for workout videos and it was taking up quality space in the living room- the room for living, not the watching room- the room for watching. Although perhaps for some, watching is their living. 

    I think some Moms have found a healthy balance in the way they use screens in their home, not neglecting their jobs in any way, but utilizing it well without it taking over the home. Some moms may not be so tempted as I am. In no way do I intend to communicate that watching TV is sin, that putting a screen in front of your kids is wrong, or that as a couple enjoying a show together is bad. I am sharing what our family has chosen to do in hopes to encourage and inspire others to use all resources intentionally for God's glory. May we challenge the status quo of our culture, of motherhood, of marriage, of homes and strive to reflect the eternal Kingdom. Ultimately, as you hopefully see as a theme with all of my posts, the encouragement here is to seek God and be faithful to His leading. That may mean using TV as a tool in the mornings to occupy your kids so you can get a 30 minute quiet time in. That may mean instead of watching a show alone, finding a show you and your husband both enjoy and watching it together. Or it may mean getting rid of the TV altogether. God is faithful and following His lead is the way to thriving, in our homes as it is in heaven.

Making it matter,

Laura   

Promised Peace

     Ten years ago I was in high school and interviewing for my first job at a very prestigious establishment. My prospective employer, we'll call him Stewart (because that was his name), asked me in my interview how I handled high stress situations. Without hesitation I said, "I pray and ask God for help." He literally started laughing out loud until responding, "And how exactly is God going to help you with this job?" I think it's incredible that we do, in fact, serve a God so invested in the details of His kids' lives that when we call on Him, He hears us and He helps us. Stewart gave me the job at Steak n' Shake, yes it was Steak n' Shake, and not a shift went by that I didn't call on God; I knew He was with me carrying shakes and all (even that time I dropped a tray filled with them and glass shattered everywhere.)

    Some people think it is childish to have faith in God. To believe that walking with Him makes any sort of difference in "real life." I've had a lot of conversations even with believers who seem to think it naive to take God at His Word. I mean sure, in general "trust God", but only while simultaneously letting anxiety rule your heart, being sure to build up your savings account, doing whatever you can to keep safe and comfortable, and for sure taking birth control so you don't have more kids than you want. And when you've exhausted all of your "control," you might write in your Proverbs 3:5-6 journal that you really do need God and want Him to lead you. 

    "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight" is not intended to merely be a cute verse embroidered on your hand towel that you pass 100 times a day but that has zero impact on your actions. And "Do not be anxious about anything..." is not an imaginary concept that sounds nice; it is a command. Here's what I believe: it is naive to put our trust anywhere besides the One who is Creator, Beginning and the End, God Almighty, Sovereign Lord, God of gods, Lord of Kings, Redeemer, Shepherd, Overseer,  God of peace, God of hope, the Living God. And if our trust is in Him that should be increasingly evident by our thoughts and actions. Do we believe God is who He says He is?  God wants your trust because He knows anywhere else you put it will let you down. Our money, jobs, health, home, country, and loved ones are not meant to deliver peace. But the Prince of Peace promises deliverance.

 

    The Word says, “Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness..” Where do you seek first? Google? Friends? Doctors? Yourself? Jonathan has challenged me in my faith more than anyone else, because I have observed up close over and over again him seeking God first in some of the scariest moments we’ve experienced together. Like when our firstborn son was transferred to NICU after birth. Upon arriving in that little green room anxiety was ruling my heart and tears running down my face. Jonathan gently but firmly looked into my eyes and said, “Laura. This wasn’t God’s plan B.” He reminded me that God had full control in that moment and we could trust Him even amidst the unknown circumstances. Another such time was years later when we awoke to our baby girl wheezing over the baby monitor. I rushed in there and she was breathing abnormally like through a straw, I’ll never forget that sound. I panicked. Jonathan said we should pray. I was actually mad at him for it, and the next day I brought it up because I felt like we should have taken a more "productive" action faster. Jonathan told me that he was scared too, but he knew that God was the one who supplied Esther’s every breath, so the most productive thing we could do first was call out to Him. I could tangibly see Jonathan’s faith. And in that conversation specifically I thought, “Wow, he genuinely believes God has control and can be trusted, even in the scariest moments—do I?” 

    The more I seek God, the more I know God, and the more I know Him, the more I trust Him. Let me just say, if earth is all there is, there is plenty of reason to panic. And plenty of motivation to strategize how to live your safest most comfortable life. But believers, we know earth isn’t all there is. We don’t need to panic like we don’t have hope. We have hope. Eternal hope. He’s a person and His name is Jesus. Let’s let our faith in Him inform our actions.  “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” 

Making it matter,

Laura Jones

The Better Refuge

    In the crazy of Momming, sometimes ya just want to take a break. To sit down. In silence. And scroll. Because it literally takes no energy. It is mindless. It's also fun to see what's going on with people and feel like I'm not missing out on anything. Last year I found myself waiting for those breaks. Scheduling them even or just peeing for like 10 minutes, when it could have been 10 seconds. If you're a mom, you get it. 2020 in general was a year of wanting to keep up with the latest and see how everyone was handling it all or what words of encouragement some of my fave follows had to say. I spent a lot of time looking for those breaks. But never once after scrolling on facebook or instagram did I say, "Wow. Now I am refueled and ready to be a great wife, mom, and friend." Typically the time spent was a little longer than I intended and left me feeling drained, lazy, and regretful that I'd wasted my time. Then add in all the politics of the year, I found my mind racing listening to 100 people's opinions while simultaneously processing my own. 

    I took a few short social media breaks last year. I had so many conversations with Jonathan about creating healthy boundaries with it- "Maybe I'll just keep it logged out so then every time I want to get on it, I'll have to type in my password." That worked until I was logging in often enough that it was just a waste of time to log out. "Maybe I'll just have certain times of day that I check it and then I won't be on it any other time." That worked until it didn't. As I shared in previous posts, I always want to be moving forward, to be growing, to be looking more like Christ, and part of that process for me is asking a lot of introspective questions. One of those questions is, "What is the biggest hindrance to my relationship with Christ right now?" And for me, last year, it was wasting time on social media and often taking refuge in that over taking refuge in God. The Better Refuge. Not only was it a temptation to waste time on, it was also a temptation from being fully present as a wife and mom. So many times this year, I have identified my relationship with social media as a hindrance to me living out who I want to be and who God has called me to be. Because where you invest your time is where you invest your life. And I was investing too much of my life (time, energy, and thoughts) to social media. So because our word for the year is "stewardship" and because my heart is to be a more faithful steward of the gifts God has given me, I felt both convicted and confident in letting go of the identified hindrance. And as January's focus is on the stewardship of time, I have been increasingly grateful that God led me in that way. Because it is no longer competing for my time/heart. 

    So why did I not give up sooner despite conviction through last year? Here is why: social media can be an incredible tool to encourage people and share the gospel. It can also be a place to learn, be challenged, and see some really really cute babies. It is morally neutral and there is nothing wrong in and of itself with having it. But it is a ground for temptation. For some that may be comparison, envy, insecurity, materialism, or wasting time. Even though my heart was to steward it well, it continually came up in my time with God as an obstacle to growth and something I needed to let go of. 

    So I brought it up with Jonathan again and asked what he thought as I shared the pros/cons as well as my list of reasons why I really felt like I couldn't let it go. And that is when I knew. If there is any thing you feel like you can't let go of, that may be a good sign you should. He encouraged me and also willingly joined. And leading up to the New Year, although I was increasingly disengaging social media, I was starting to get really anxious. I thought I would be bummed not seeing all the pics, hearing all the new news, and not getting to share any of my own as though I needed to be able to say, "Hey, I'm here and I've got kids and we're doing stuff." And here I am, a few weeks into 2021 and it has been so good to let it go.  To silence the voices and ads. To be more present. And to rest in The Better Refuge. I have had zero anxiety about it since, zero temptation to spend time on it, and overall, I am confident I have stewarded my time more faithfully than I was before. And I  hope this year to grow in such a way that I can steward and engage with social media better in the future but for now, I am embracing this break.

     Now I will ask you, what is the biggest hindrance to your relationship with Christ right now? Or to being the person you want to be? Identify it and in faithfulness, let it go. "If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose on part of of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut if off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose on part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell." -Jesus (matt 5:29-30)

Making it matter,

Laura Jones 

What's the Word?

     At the end of every year I ask Jonathan what his first word of the next year is going to be. And every year he rolls his eyes. I put a lot of thought into what the first word I usher in the New Year with. It's been something I've done since 7th grade, when my first word was my crush's name. You're likely rolling your eyes now too. When we count down the seconds to midnight on New Years Eve, I am intentionally silent, then when midnight hits, I utter my word, often quietly so people aren't like, "Why did you just say 'Satisfied?'" which was, by the way, my first word of 2020. I like choosing a word for the year, and particularly setting an intention for the year. My heart behind the word satisfied was the desire to be fully satisfied in Christ, to seek out and live out what that meant. If ever there was a year to learn such a thing, 2020 was it because it stripped away most things that we look to for satisfaction. 2020 brought chaos, change, "unprecedented times", fear, loneliness, distance. But God was the same. He is the same. And for that I am grateful. I think I'll spend my whole life seeking out what it means and how to more fully live out satisfaction in Christ, but last year was a growing year in that. 

    And now it's a new year. 2021. And I had already picked my word, and shared it with Jonathan. So then it became our word. And at midnight I spoke that word. And so did he. I was amazed because most years he says something anticlimactic just to playfully mock my intentionality. But this year he joined me because it really is the word on both of our hearts. The word that will set our focus and intention for this year. And the word is stewardship. (Now you see why I whisper the word. LOL) One thing that last year exposed in me was a lack of intentionality in stewarding: my time, my thoughts, my money, my emotions, the list goes on. Part of the  problem is the repeated word in that last sentence: "MY". Psalm 24:1 says, "The earth is the Lord's and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it..." This past year I found myself clinging to all the things in hopes of keeping some type of norm/comfort. We moved away, added a third child, and the craziness of the world invited a certain kinda cling-to-MY-stuff mentality. But I was gently reminded that nothing I have is actually mine; it is simply given to me by God to steward for His glory. There is a difference in responsibility when you are stewarding the belongings of another. The question isn't "What do I want to do?" but rather, "What would He have me do?" Romans 11:36 says, "For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for His glory." The marriage, kids, body, home, finances, time, health, mind, spirit. His. I am humbled that God has entrusted me with so many good gifts. This year I will increasingly ask, "How does God want me to steward..." and fill in the blank. 

    Every year Jonathan and I  set goals. They are usually arranged topically by spiritual goals, physical goals, financial goals, etc. But this year we are focusing each month on a different thing God has entrusted us with and setting goals that encourage better stewardship. For example, January's focus is TIME and our question is "How does God want us to spend the time He has given us?" A few of our January goals are to not sleep in past 7AM all month, to be in the Word each day, and to create/stick to a more structured schedule. Other months we will focus on gospel stewardship, marriage stewardship, children stewardship, financial stewardship, body stewardship, and home stewardship--with each one having its own set of goals. Ultimately, all of the goals reflect our calling: to know God and to make Him known. I hope this encourages you to seek God more this year and consider the many good gifts He has entrusted you with and how He would have you steward them. Next on the blog I'll share about the #1 hindrance in stewardship for me, the reasons I cut it out of my life, and how it's going so far. See ya soon!

Making it matter, 

Laura Jones

Making It Matter

     I am someone who does not like to coast. I don't want my marriage, motherhood, or life to be on auto pilot. I like to strategize. I want to always be growing, always be engaging in life. Going through the motions without intentionality, energy, or a goal in mind is a waste of time. I firmly believe everything can matter. Sweeping the floors, wiping snotty noses, changing diapers, even the most mundane of tasks can matter. 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, "So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." Do you notice that it uses something super basic as an example? It doesn't say, "So whether you are doing surgery or are CEO of your company..." although those would fall in the "whatever you do" category. It literally says whether you EAT or DRINK, do it for God's glory. Which every human mindlessly does every day. It's routine. It's necessary for living. But to engage in such a way that it brings glory to God, to be that intentional that sipping your water MATTERS. That is the kind of living I am after. 

    Whether I am at church worshipping the Lord or I am in the living room folding three baskets of laundry, I desire to engage in such a way that it brings God glory, and therefore matters. This desire especially impacts the way I mom my kids. If I merely focus on surviving the day or on keeping them alive or just on getting to bed time, I miss out on so much opportunity to maximize my influence on them in a way that matters. But when I consider nursing my baby or picking her up when she's crying to be the blueprint of how her heart one day experiences God--that He will take care of her, that He is present for her, and that He can be trusted--it radically impacts how I think of my job as "Mom." When I consider that marriage is to be an illumination of the gospel and an illustration of Christ's love, it shapes how I think about my marriage and engage in it. 

    Honestly, I find so much motivation by the fact that God woke me up today and that because He woke me up today, He has a plan for me. And if He has a plan for me, it's a good one because He is a good God. And if it's a good plan, I want to walk in it. So, I look for opportunities to make it matter. To be more intentional. More present. More thoughtful. I want my life to count for eternity. On earth as it is in heaven. In home as in heaven.  And while I am certain that I have missed opportunities in the past, and will miss some today, I am committed to keep showing up and seeking the God that gives life a lasting purpose. Philippians 1:6 "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Friend, wherever you are, whatever your job is, whoever you are with, you can make it matter.  If you woke up, God has a plan for you, and if He has a plan, it's a good one, and if it's a good one, don't you want to live it?

Making it matter, 

Laura Jones