I watched a video where a kid asked Kamala Harris, the current Vice President of the United States, the best advice her parents had ever given her. This was her response: "One of the most important pieces of advice that I can offer you guys, and I want you to really remember this: Never let anybody tell you who you are. You tell them who you are. Never let anybody suggest to you that you are what they think you should be. You tell them who you are and who you know you are and who you intend to be. You got that?"
Thankfully my kids didn't hear that advice because this is 100% the opposite of everything I want to do as a parent. Left to ourselves, we do not know who we are. The purpose of a created thing is found in the one who created it. Imagine having no knowledge of what an iPhone is for and using it as a coaster on the coffee table. I mean sure, it could be used a coaster, albeit an expensive one, but that’s really missing out on the fullness of its capabilities or designated purpose. A kid needs to be told who they are, whose they are, and why they are. These are the questions God answers in His Word. I will never stop telling my kids that they are image bearers of their Creator. That they were created by God on purpose and for a purpose. That they are boys (for my sons) and girls (for my daughters) by design and that is good. I will tell them that they are sons and daughters of Jonathan Jones who is the son of Larry Jones (who is the son of Ken and Billie Jones) and Judy Jones (who is the daughter of Don and Janelle Kavanaugh). And that they are sons and daughters of Laura Jones who is the daughter of Mark Hemingway (son of Jess and Grace Hemingway) and Paula Hemingway (daughter of Paul and Carolyn Mott) and so forth. As children they will be given a secured identity not made up through looking within, soul searching or trial and error, but because they will be told exactly who they are in the context of who came generations before them as well as in the context of God's great big story that they get to play a part in simply by being His creation.
The message of "you do you" is rampant in today's culture, encouraging people to decide who they want to be and then told to let no one stand in their way. While this has been a message for a while now aimed at adults, it is increasingly taking ground towards children. “You don’t need parents- you do you. Don’t let your parents hinder you.” This has now led to the drastic degree of “if who you are is a boy, but you want to be a girl, you can and should be a girl.” The intentional push for confusion on kids today is evil and inevitably leads to devastating consequences as well as instability and insecurity. If who we are is based on how we feel, then we will truly never find ourselves because feelings shift on the daily. If who we are is based on the opinions of others, then our identity will ebb and flow rising and falling in confidence. If who we are is based on what we accomplish or on our career, then it is contingent on how we perform, again unsteady. The concept of "finding yourself", outside of God's Word or design, leads to lifelong identity crises and insecurity. A secure identity is rooted in that which is unchanging. Or rather, Who is unchanging. When your identity is rooted in Christ, you are secure, not because of who YOU are, but because of who HE is in you.
As our culture steps further away from a fear of God, there is only increasing confusion on identity, and it is my life's work and passion to give my kids a foundation that provides confidence and security in their God given identity. I want my kids to celebrate all that it means to be created a boy or a girl and to walk proudly in that. I want my kids to increase in their confidence that every detail of how they were designed, from physical appearance to personality to giftings was purposefully crafted by God for them to use to glorify Him and serve others in a unique way. This is where people thrive. This is the foundation that builds into living out exactly who we were meant to be. To tell kids to just figure it out- from their gender to their attraction to their purpose in life- by considering how they feel, looking within, and then deciding all they want to be is a foundation for endless searching and confusion that leads to an adulthood of the same. This is why God gave kiddos parents. To help them navigate and discover and celebrate all God made them to be in a way that leads to healthy flourishing as they grow. “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10 “For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14
Micaiah, Essie, Gracie, and Corby, God created every detail of you who are on purpose. He knit you together in my womb and then carefully delivered you into this world at just the right time. He has made you fearfully and wonderfully and He is worthy of all your praise. Each of you are God’s workmanship. You were created in Christ to do good works that God has specifically prepared for each of you. It is my greatest privilege as your Mommy to call out all I see God crafting in you and to celebrate exactly who He has made you to be as His sons and daughters. All you may seek in life is found fully in Him.
Making it Matter,
Laura Jones
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