Fried Plantains

     When we lived in Fort Worth, one of my very dearest friends was our neighbor across the street. Her name is Norma. There is really no reason we should have become such close friends. What I mean is we have nearly nothing in common on the surface. Norma is an 80 year old great grandma from Puerto Rico whose primary language is Spanish and she can barely use her iPhone. And yet, it was God's kindness that placed our family in the house across the street from her and her husband, Marino. She is one of the sweetest, most hospitable people I have ever met and I have learned so much from her. When we moved away and had to say goodbye, we both cried because of the unlikely friendship we'd forged over the two years we lived in that house. 

    Here are 5 things I learned about hospitality from Norma that will forever stick with me: 

1. Welcome people in. The first time I knocked on Norma's door she said, "honey, come in, come in." And so began our friendship. She was usually cleaning and cooking but always welcomed me and Micaiah (and then me and Micaiah and Esther) in to "sit down, sit down honey." She was often up and moving, but not in a "too busy for you" kind of way. I told her she worked way too hard and needed to take a break to which she replied, "at our age if you stop moving and sit around, you die." I took her to heart on that because she's one sharp feisty woman and never sat down more than a minute of her life I'm sure. She always loved conversation and seemed delighted by the kids and by me being there with her. She looked at my kids like they were her own great grandkids and we called her their abuela because of it. I am grateful for that first time of her welcoming us in. It kept me knocking on her door.

2. Give food. I also quickly learned not to go to Norma's after eating, because she wouldn't let you say no to food. Once you knocked, you were invited in, and once you were in, somehow there was a hot plate of beans, rice, and chicken sitting before you even though you'd politely just declined. I stopped declining because it didn't matter to Norma anyways. Plus her food was incredible. The first time she made me her fried plantains, I could have eaten them all. And she'd have let me. After bringing up how much I liked them so often, she finally taught me how to make them but mine certainly weren't as good. She also always had cookies for the kids, which were really crackers. They loved being at her house because she always offered them (read:forced them to have) juice and crackers and they certainly didn't mind that.

 3. Be available. This is the main reason Norma and I became friends. She was available. As a stay at home Mom with two littles at the time, I wasn't going too many places. Just me and the babies at home often, and Norma was always home too. We were the friends each other needed. I loved asking Norma questions about her family and learning from her life experiences. And she enjoyed sharing them with me. Never were we made to feel like an interruption or an inconvenience to her day; actually she made us feel like quite the opposite. She delighted in us, like she was hoping we'd stop by that day. 

4. Be present. Norma was never scrolling on her phone or texting...perhaps mostly because she didn't know how to. I loved when she asked me questions about her phone, like how to make it ring because it was on silent. Or how to find a picture someone had sent her. But truly. She was just there, present, engaged in the conversation. She was quick to hold a baby or help the toddler with something. Being present is a lost art, but Norma's got it down and I love hanging around her because of it. She treats you like you're the only one that matters in the moment.

5. Cross the street. Norma would knock on our door too. I'll never forget the times she knocked with a hot container of food she'd just prepared. She knew how much I loved her fried plantains and brought many  dishes over! She also would come over while the kids napped sometimes so I could run to the store. If she didn't see us for a couple days she'd come by to make sure everything was okay.  

    This past weekend we were in Fort Worth for a birthday party and I told Jonathan I'd like to go by Norma & Marino's house while we were in town. I called Norma a couple times in the morning but it went straight to voicemail...she probably just forgot where the power button was or something. But after the party, we just stopped by. Haven't seen them since before having Corban. Gave no advanced warning we'd be coming. We walk up to the door, knock, and it's not long before I hear, "Come in, come in, honey."  Within minutes we were sitting at their table being "offered" hot food and the kids already each had their juice. It was like she knew we were coming. Always ready to welcome us in. Jonathan handed her Corban and she just adored him saying, "Oh God bless you. God bless you, baby." She's gotten to hold 3 of our 4 newborns and has always spoken that over them. I hope to be more like Norma. To love and serve people the way she does. To be interruptible and delighted by the "interruption." To be present and enjoy simple conversation. Knowing Norma has made me better and her friendship has marked me for life.

Making it Matter,

Laura Jones